Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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