if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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