Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
