I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
