some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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