Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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