Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
