I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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