Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
