STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
