I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
