do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
