Got a toothbrush?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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