Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
