for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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