he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize