My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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