My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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