i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
