i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
