You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
