I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
