I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
