He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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