Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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