My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
