I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
