It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
