your thong is hanging out like whoa
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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