I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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