I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
