Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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