You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
