I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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