I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize