i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
