great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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