Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
