My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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