Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
