I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So many bounce houses so little time
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
