I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
