Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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