I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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