i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
