If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize