I cannot find my penis.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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