it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
