Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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