I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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