You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
