I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
