I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
