That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
