The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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