Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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