Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
